Children of the Shadowlands
by rpgirl27
Summary: A nameless boy. A restless girl. An unlikely love story told in glimpses. ExB. AH. Rated M for sex, drugs, and rock n roll.
1. The World I Know

**Chapter 1-The World I Know**

_So I walk up on high_

_And I step to the edge_

_To see my world below._

_And I laugh at myself_

_While the tears roll down._

_'Cause it's the world I know._

_It's the world I know._

_~Collective Soul_

**May 1998 BPOV**

While the day had begun gray and dour, the afternoon saw it turn to heavy rain. Plunking down with determination, the large drops smacked onto the station wagon windshield.

On days like this one, I was reminded of the small town in Washington where I had done most of my growing up. It always seemed like the rain never stopped there, the sun a foreign thing. Everyone knew everyone else, and had for generations. New families entering the area were a rare occurrence, but kids barely older than me leaving weren't. It wasn't like Forks had much to offer.

In the end, that little town couldn't hold us any longer, or more specifically, couldn't hold my brother, Emmett McCarty Swan, Forks High football star, All-State champion, and now, the pride of Penn State's freshman roster.

My family had packed up and moved cross-country the summer before my sophomore year of high school, not wanting to miss a moment of Emmett's first college season.

I wish I could have the satisfaction of hating him for it.

But like everything else he did, Emmett was amazing at being an older brother. I was often ignored by just about everyone, even our own parents, but Emmett always looked out for me, taking time from his packed schedule to make sure we hung out.

"Hey, Bella, toss me the bag of Twizzlers, would ya?" Alice's request jerked me back from my thoughts.

After rooting around on the messy station wagon floor, I found the bag of snack food we'd purchased prior to beginning our aimless road trip. Before tossing the red bag to Alice in the driver's seat, I ripped it open and snagged a few pieces for myself.

I'd only known Alice and Rose, the long-legged blond in the front-passenger seat, since the start of the school year. Rose had been the bored beauty queen in the back of the biology room, while Alice had been in the first seat of the first row, our Bio teacher forcing us to sit in alphabetical order by our first names. As soon as I had slunk quietly to my assigned seat, she had turned in her chair and started talking. The nice thing about Alice was, she didn't need me to respond; she could carry the conversation quite well all by herself.

"While you've got the bag open, can you grab the Doritos for me?" Rose asked, peering through the space separating the two front seats.

"Didn't you guys eat?" I wondered.

"Yeah, but we smoked before we picked you up. Rose's sister is home from college and hooked us up," Alice replied.

"Gee, thanks for waiting."

"Fuck that," Alice giggled. "You _know _there'll be more later."

Since arriving on the east coast, my eyes had been opened to a lot of different experiences. Not that it couldn't have happened back home in Forks, but I would have had to…I don't know…talk to people. Alice had just kept right on talking until I felt I had to respond, which cracked apart my loner mentality slowly but surely. Ever since that first day, months ago, I had learned to enjoy her company, and that of Rose, though I think Rose more or less tolerated me for Alice's sake. According to Rose, Alice had always attracted lost causes and wayward souls. I was only the newest in a long line of pets.

The station wagon rumbled on, jerking and groaning over potholes, Alice's lead foot forcing it to top out at sixty miles per hour on the back country roads. The air inside the wagon was almost unbearably sticky, but to open the window would mean getting pelted in the face with rain.

A sudden turn had me pinned to the right side of the car, the strip mall coming into view as we flew up the entrance ramp.

"The fuck, Alice. What are we doing here?" Rosalie demanded as the station wagon came to a jarring halt.

"We have time to kill," she explained. "I thought we could see if there was anything good playing at the dollar theater."

"There's never anything but shit, or shit we've already seen. Besides, the floor's always sticky. You know this."

Staring up from our half-assed park job at the curb, we tried to read the marquis through the downpour. "We could see Good Will Hunting again. Ben Affleck is hot," Alice suggested. Rose shrugged noncommittally. "What do you think, Bella?"

"Sure. Why not."

"Hey, Rosalie, look," Alice's finger traced the fog covered windshield in front of her. "Is that who I think it is?"

After scooting up between the front seats, I looked over Rosalie's shoulder, following her gaze to the side of the building where several boys sat tucked under the eaves, out of the rain.

"I think so, yeah. What was that kid's name? Munchkin or something?"

I snorted. "Munchkin? What the fuck kind of name is that?"

Rosalie wrinkled up her nose. "I don't know. He doesn't have a real name, or he won't tell it."

"It's just a nickname," Alice piped in. "He was around last summer, Bella. Before you came. He thought he might be back, but that kind of life, you never know."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my interest sparked.

"He lives down south when it's cold here, and wanders back up for the summer," she explained. "But that boy, nothing's ever definite with him."

"How can that be? His parents must be whacked."

"I don't think he has any."

"Huh?" What kid my age didn't have parents? And what…he just wanders?

"Yeah. Don't ask him about it. He'll get spooked and ditch out."

"So you're what…gonna pick up some random homeless kid?"

"Be nice, Bella. He isn't scary. You'll see. He slept in my basement for a month and didn't kill me. Plus, he gets the good shit from the coast."

Rosalie nodded. "Really good shit."

"Fine, but if I end up a fucking Dateline special, it's you two bitches fault."

**Yes, this is new. No, I won't have an update schedule-I'm pregnant, cranky, and my inspiration waxes and wanes of its own accord. Yes, the story is entirely plotted out (in my head) and has been for months. Yes, it will be finished. (I think I have a nice track record of completing my stuff).**

**Yes, this is ummm _different_ than what I normally post on here. Unless you consider the 90s as historical fic. If you do, my old ass is gonna go cry in some cheerios right now ;) Yes, the chapters will all be short. **

**If you currently have teenage children, you may want to skip this story.**

**Yes, I have known kids/done things like this. If you are a teenager, don't do any of this at home.**

**People die doing stupid shit.**

**I don't own Twilight the book/movie/series etc. I don't own any of the music I quote or the random pop culture stuff that makes it in here.**

**I floving love to read your thoughts, but to be honest, it's rare that I'll respond. If you have a specific question, I'll try my best to answer as long as it doesn't give too much away.**


	2. The Man Who Sold the World

**Chapter 2-The Man Who Sold the World**

_I searched for former land_

_For years and years I roamed_

_I gazed a gazely stare_

_With multimillion hills_

_I must have died alone_

_A long, long time ago_

_~Nirvana (cover)_

**The Boy **

Faces everywhere.

Some new, some old, some blurring into the background despite my insistent need to scan them, read their expressions, demeanor, determine their possible threat to me.

Suspiciousness sometimes verging on paranoia, but it was all due to necessity.

There was no prejudice involved. Danger could come from any angle. The sweet-faced woman with the handout could be more dangerous than the wealthy man who prowled the streets at night.

At least he wore his intentions plain as day.

It took a month to make my way up the coast. Traveling by fits and starts, I took care never to attract attention, or give anyone a reason to question me.

I was like a ghost, slipping between worlds, never staying long enough to be noticed. Few people knew I existed, and those that knew that, didn't know my real name. Sometimes I could barely remember my name, it had been so long since I'd heard it out loud.

After years on my own, I'd learned the places where I could stay without too much worry, and I'd learned the places to avoid. Tourist areas were always an excellent option. Small towns with never-changing populations, best to avoid at all costs.

It was rare that I stayed with the same person twice, but a few I couldn't pass up. A select group that I knew was both secretive and kind hearted in the extreme. This rainy May day, one of them spotted me and my latest band of random companions.

I remembered Alice Brandon from the summer before. I stayed in her home for weeks while her parents toured Europe, leaving their fifteen-year-old daughter in the care of her nineteen-year-old sister. In my thirty or so days of residence there, I saw the older sister once.

I loved absentee parents, however, it was rare that I would take the chance of staying in a girl's house. Not only would their parents assume the worst if I was caught, usually the girl mistakenly believed I was interested in more than just a decent place to sleep.

The very first night of my stay, Alice had fixed up the guest suite in her finished basement, possibly the nicest room I'd slept in my entire life. The moment I had met her at the local mall, I'd recognized her as one of those people with an unusually clear conscience and open heart. One of those folks that would give you the last gulp of water in the desert. The kind that usually ended up getting fucked over.

After she'd seen to it that I was fed, watered and taken care of, we smoked a bowl, and I crawled into the bed. Alice lingered at the edge, running her fingers over the coverlet.

Cocking her head to the side, she pursed her lips. "You don't want to hook up?"

Smiling faintly, I shook my head against the pillow. "No, thanks, Alice."

Brightening immediately, she unleashed a relieved grin. "Okay, then," she said, confirming my suspicions. This girl had definitely been fucked and fucked over. Fuck absentee parents.

For nearly a month, I used her basement like it was my own personal apartment, but not without returning the favor. Even though she wouldn't have asked, I made sure she didn't have to lift a finger around her own house. From the garbage to the dishes, laundry and dusting, I earned my keep.

Alice didn't bother me. It's like she knew that one suspicious move or too many questions, and I would be out the door without a word. I couldn't afford to take chances.

When the time came to leave, she even found me a new place to stay with one of her sister's college guy friends who had his own apartment. It wasn't nearly as nice, but I wasn't in a position to be choosy, and besides, I'd lived in far worse places.

The group of guys I'd traveled up from Ocean City with snickered as Alice bounced out of the car and ran through the rain, squealing until she reached the dry area under the overhang where we'd sought shelter from the rain.

"Hey, Munch! I wondered if you'd be here again for the summer. Are you gonna be around for awhile?" I could tell she was restraining the urge to give me a hug. It was hard for her as she was naturally affectionate, but I could barely stand to be touched. Touching encouraged strings, and I was a no-strings-attached kind of person.

I shrugged, slumping against the wall. I didn't like to talk about my plans. Not that I really had any.

"If you guys want to, you can hop in the shaggin' wagon. We're partying tonight."

Glancing over to my traveling companions, I saw that they were definitely interested. Though I didn't know them well, they didn't strike me as dangerous. Otherwise, I wouldn't allow them near someone who had treated me so well. "Sure, Alice. Lead the way."

She bounced again, her short, black hair bobbing with her. "Okay. Come on then." Waving us forward, she skipped ahead while we gathered up our backpacks, which carried our few belongings.

The moment we left the overhang, the rain pelted us, saturating our clothes before we were even half way to the big metal beast Alice was driving. She snapped open the rear passenger door, shouting at us to cram in. I could see that a girl occupied the front passenger seat as we rushed past, but I was unprepared to tumble in the door and come face to face with yet another girl.

"Hurry up. Slide over," Garrett shouted from behind me.

Holding my breath and gritting my teeth, I pushed myself right up against the girl to make room for the two boys so they could get in out of the rain.

"Sorry," I whispered under my breath, making myself smaller, and trying as best I could not to touch her any more than was absolutely necessary. The girl seemed to do the same, her body melting into the car door.

"S'okay," she responded, avoiding looking at me. I wondered what Alice had managed to tell her before I got in the car. I didn't like people talking about me. Not that she'd have much to report.

Alice started up the station wagon and threw it into reverse, but stopped abruptly at the sound of a horn. The small brunette beside me looked up, startled by the sudden jostling. Our eyes met, and out of habit, I began to read her face, studying her expression. Pity and concern could be found there. Those I was used to, but above both of those was the look, which questioned everything. Who was I? Where had I come from? What was my story? Like she wanted to look into my mind and _know me._ And this made her more dangerous than anyone.

I had to get out of the car.

**Note: this story won't be beta'd (all errors are mine).**

**Thanks so much for the love :)**


	3. Pepper

**Chapter 3-Pepper **

_I don't mind the sun sometimes, the images it shows_

_I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes_

_Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies_

_You never know just how you look through other people's eyes_

~_Butthole Surfers_

**BPOV**

They fell in like dominoes, three sopping wet boys in cutoff flannel and jeans. The one closest to me had dark hair, curling at the edges, with droplets gliding down his face and neck. He grimaced as his arm touched mine, recoiling from my skin and shrinking into himself. Reflexively, I did the same, concerned that in some way, I caused his discomfort.

Before I had a chance to get comfortable, Alice was backing up, sending the station wagon into reverse without checking to see if anyone was behind us. At least she managed to stop at the sound of the horn and not hit anything. This time.

The sudden jolt made my body bounce in the seat, and inadvertently, I looked up into the dark haired boy's eyes. At first, they held mine steadily, and I drifted a bit, wondering what his story was, and how I could find out. But then they seemed to widen with fear, or anger; I couldn't tell which. He quickly looked away, squeezing his knees together and wrapping his arms around himself as if it was a form of protection. Leaning against the door, I kept my eyes toward the rain-soaked road, trying not to be pissed that the kid next to me found me so revolting. How fucking dare he look at me like that. It's not like he was something special. Tool. No wonder I didn't talk to people.

We were halfway down the road when Alice started talking. "You're so much taller than last year. Guess your nickname doesn't really work anymore," she said, looking over her shoulder. I wished she'd learn to talk and watch the road at the same time. "Who are your friends?"

My neighbor's head popped up, and he stopped picking at his shoelaces. "Guess we all gotta grow up sometime, Alice. But…um…that's the only name I've got, so it'll have to stay, I guess." He must have had a hard candy in his mouth since I heard something clanging against his teeth, and being so close, I was able to smell the sweet, sugary scent that crept out while he spoke. He nodded his head toward the other two boys. "This is Garrett and Liam. They decided to follow me up North this year."

I glanced over at the other boys, the older looking one winking when he caught my eye. Ew.

"You remember Rosalie, right Munch?" Alice paused, watching for his acknowledgement in the rear view mirror. "That's Bella next to you. We imported her from the West Coast last fall."

Munch didn't so much as nod in my direction. "Nice wagon you got here."

"Yeah, my parents picked it up for me a few months ago. Hey, they're leaving again as soon as the semester ends next week. Where are you staying?"

Munch shrugged. "Garrett knows a guy that knows a guy."

"Well, if you change your mind, I've always got room."

"Thanks, Alice. I'll…uh…" I could feel him shift just slightly further away from me. "I'll think about it."

I could see her frowning in the rear view, which made me feel bad. If he was going to ditch my friends to stay away from me…well, I didn't know what I could do about that.

Rosalie started bitching about something up in front, but I couldn't hear what she was saying over the sound of the radio, and Munch's friends whispering to each other. Soon they were elbowing and pushing, forcing Munch's shoulder to keep hitting mine. He didn't look happy about it.

Alice bounced down the road, singing along to the radio and ignoring not only Rosalie, but my annoyed glares. I knew she could see me in the mirror, she just chose to pretend not to notice.

After stopping at yet another convenience store, we were refilled on snacks, leaving the boys a bit quieter, and a lot less squirmy. I, however, felt like the mixture of the moisture from the outside air and the wet boys next to me had finally invaded my skin and clothes, making me feel clammy and gross. I couldn't wait to get out of the goddamned wagon.

When we were within several miles of Alice's neighborhood, I started seeing some familiar houses. Alice would pull over, run up to the door, charm the parents, and collect the kids. If I thought the wagon was unbearable with the six of us in it, it was exponentially worse by the time we had thirteen kids piled in that piece of shit.

The armrest on the door had practically become part of my ribcage, while Angry Boy was embedded into my other side. The sun had nearly set, and I could hardly see a thing, but when a familiar smell hit my nostrils, I looked up to see an amber glow finding its way around the wagon.

Because we were so close, I felt his chest move as he inhaled, and his breath on my neck when he turned to hand the joint over. The tiniest bit of light glinted in his eye, and I couldn't help but stare. I liked to have people all figured out from the moment I met them, but I could tell this boy was going to be a challenge. There'd be no easy way to label him and put him in a box.

With the windows up, the cabin of the wagon filled with sweet-smelling smoke, and I had no idea how Alice could even see to drive. I doubted how much she saw when it wasn't through a purple haze anyway.

If I had taken time to consider the situation, I may have found comfort in the fact that we were at least on roads she knew well, but I really didn't think about it. My thoughts were consumed with taking the smoothest hit, and figuring out how to crack Angry Boy. Or if it was even worth the bother.

I was just beginning to chill the fuck out, when the wagon bottomed out, and I looked out the window to see that we weren't on the road anymore, but someone's nicely manicured lawn.

"Motherfucker, Alice. That's a swimming pool. Get the fuck back on the road." Rosalie screamed, swatting at the back of Alice's head.

After hearing Alice's giggle, along with a screech of tires, the wagon was once again traveling on pavement. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Angry Boy's head shake in disapproval, and felt his arm work itself around my shoulders.

At least if I died, it would be while getting more action than I ever had before.

**Thanks so much for your time & opinions :)**

**I turned 30 today...make it a little less shitty for me!**


	4. Corduroy

**Chapter 4- Corduroy**

_The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess I take your entrance back... can't let you roam inside my head I don't want to take what you can give... I would rather starve than eat your bread... I would rather run but I can't walk... Guess I'll lie alone just like before..._

_I'll take the vermin's path... oh, and I must refuse your test A-push me and I will resist... this behavior's not unique I don't want to hear from those who know... They can buy, but can't put on my clothes... I don't want to limp for them to walk... Never would have known of me before... I don't want to be held in your debt... I'll pay it off in blood, let I be wed... I'm already cut up and half dead... I'll end up alone like I began..._

~_Pearl Jam_

**The Boy**

Alice had been too young to have a license last year. She must have had a birthday sometime since last fall. After experiencing an evening of her driving, I couldn't believe she was actually capable of passing a driver's test. Maybe she wasn't completely stoned when she took it…or she cried and the DoT worker took pity on her. I bet her parents got her such a shitty car since they figured she'd demolish it in no time.

Bella, the brunette with the overly inquisitive eyes, was mashed between my body and the car door. I tried to keep my weight off of her, but the more people that piled in, the harder it became.

Someone started circulating a joint, and despite the cramped quarters, we were all able to partake.

That made the situation slightly less uncomfortable.

I could feel Bella loosen up slowly, her body completely rigid up until that point.

But the softening didn't last. Several blocks from her house, Alice rolled off the road and through some poor person's back yard. Thank fuck for Rosalie getting her back on track.

Bella looked horrified, so much so that I had my arm around her before I even realized it. She must have had a healthy fear of dying that I was lacking.

I'd never been happier to see the break in the trees, which signaled the driveway up to Alice's house. Her parents had built their home high on a hillside, far enough away from everyone else that all kinds of mischief could go down there without anyone being the wiser about it.

As soon as the wagon slowed to a halt, kids started spilling out, and I felt like I could breathe for the first time in an hour. Several of us guys walked over to the tree line to take a leak, while all the girls followed Alice into the house.

Within minutes, most everyone was working on one thing or another. A couple guys had the garage open, pulling out tents. Others were gathering firewood and placing it in a well-charred spot away from the house. Alice must have started her summer parties early this year.

The girls started to trickle back out, which was my cue to find something to occupy myself. The first two tents were almost up, so I began guiding the poles into the third. Garrett and Liam weren't much help. They were both circling Alice, who was busy digging through her CDs and plugging in her parent's state-of-the-art outdoor sound system.

"Can I help with that?"

Shit. I hadn't been paying attention, and Bella had snuck up on me. "Uh, no. I mean, I'm almost done. It's not really necessary."

"Fine then, _Munch_," she said my name like it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard, "I'll just do this one over here." I didn't think it was possible to slam a tent around, but I never saw nylon abused like that until it was in Bella's hands. "You know, I was planning on being nice to you because Alice asked me to, but it's getting really fucking hard."

I set the last stake in the ground for the tent I was working on, and then grabbed the pole she held. Trying to ignore the pang of hurt when she flinched back and away from me, I began threading it through the slots in the tent material.

Sighing, she remarked, "You must do this a lot." With her hand on her hip, it accentuated the jeans she wore, which were tight at the top and flared at the bottom, partially covering a pair of dark purple Doc Martens.

I chuckled, swiping my hand through my hair. It had grown past my collar, and my neck was starting to gather sweat. "Yeah, maybe." I had to be careful. I was sure her questions would continue to get sneakier until she decided she'd figured me out.

"I've been camping at the beach, a few times in the mountains, too. What do you think, which do you like better?"

"Couldn't say. Beaches are nice, I guess."

"My parents seem to like the mountains better. What about your parents, Munch?"

I sat back on my heels, staring up into her determined eyes. Shrugging, I attempted to shift her attention away from me and back on her. "Do you go camping a lot? Up in the mountains, I mean?"

She frowned, her teeth sneaking out to bite on her bottom lip while she thought. "We go up north several times a month. My brother plays football for Penn State, so, you know, it's really important that my folks get to see him, but we don't camp like we used to back home."

"Is that why you moved across country?"

"Yeah, my brother…he's just always been pretty amazing. They'd do anything for him."

I pushed the final stake into the ground, while Bella circled the tent, making sure everything was properly in place. "I'm sure it would be the same for you."

I heard a loud snort from the other end of the tent. "I wouldn't count on it. There's nothing remarkable about me."

"I don't believe it," I said, shaking my head. "Tell me about growing up on the West Coast. I've never been there." The more I could keep her talking about herself, the less I would have to lie or evade.

"There isn't much to tell," she began, but despite her doubts, she was full of information. One thing I did love about the life I led, I never suffered for lack of interesting people.

I listened intently, not only because it would be rude not to, but because she was such a good storyteller. When she wrapped a lock of hair around her finger and told me about the chill wind off the coast of Washington state, I could almost see her on the beach, cheeks pink and body bundled up in a heavy coat.

Alice called to her from the garage, breaking the spell of the tale she was weaving…something about a family dog and a fishing misadventure. As much as I was enjoying myself, I breathed a sigh of relief when she began to head over to Alice. Another successful interaction with minimal exposure.

However, she abruptly turned back to me, speaking while walking backward. "Don't think I didn't notice your little move there, Munch. This conversation isn't over."

And so I had a decision to make. Do I stay, or do I go?

**Thanks for your input & enthusiasm! Always lovely to see the same faces pop up in my alerts...and the new ones, too :)**


	5. Tonight, Tonight

**Chapter 5- Tonight, Tonight**

_Time is never time at all You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth And our lives are forever changed We will never be the same The more you change the less you feel Believe, believe in me, believe That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain We're not the same, we're different tonight Tonight, so bright_

_~Smashing Pumpkins_

**BPOV**

At first, he was so subtle, I didn't realize what he was doing, quietly refusing to give up any information while distracting me with questions about myself. But when Alice yelled over to me from the garage, it dawned on me that the sky had grown dark, but I was none-the-wiser to Munch's secrets.

During our conversation, I could see Alice watching us intermittently, waiting for signs that I was scaring off her friend, I assume. However, her attention was primarily taken up by the guys that had come along with Munch. They hovered around her like hounds on the trail, but I could hardly blame them. Alice had changed clothing; her new outfit consisted of a "shirt" she had made by sewing strings onto a tie-dyed handkerchief. Between that and the barely there shorts, she was showing a distracting amount of skin.

Rosalie was also in my sight, her exasperated expression and rolling eyes telling me her opinion of Alice's newest pets. I wondered if that meant I had finally moved up a step in her estimation.

"What are you up to, Bella?" Alice asked, peering at me suspiciously after I had reached the garage.

"Nothing," I answered, shrugging. "Just getting the tents set up."

"Uh huh." She moved closer, draping her arm across my shoulder. "I don't want to disappoint you, but if you're thinking of breaking your dry spell, that's not the boy to pin your hopes on."

"Dry spell? Pffft. There was never anything to dry up. Besides, I'm not after him for that. I'm a little curious, is all."

She tapped the tip of my nose with her finger, eyes boring into mine. "He's gonna run. Press him, and he's gonna run. And I like him here. Somebody has to look after him. Might as well be me."

I had the slightest tinge of jealousy. "He won't, Alice. I promise I won't bug him anymore."

She perked up at my reply, "Thanks, Bella!"

* * *

For several hours after my chat with Alice, I managed to keep a healthy distance between Munchkin and myself. He made it easier by slipping in and out of my periphery like a figment of my imagination.

When the sun was fully down, a campfire was started, though it was far more difficult than usual since the heavy rain from earlier in the day had left all the firewood waterlogged. Several boys worked at it for quite sometime without luck, but five minutes after Munchkin drifted toward them, the fire sprung to life. In addition to his skills as the invisible man, I suppose he was also a magician.

The whole group of us surrounded the fire, settling in on old blankets rescued from Alice's garage. Munch sat behind the main circle, the light from the flames barely touching his face. Keeping my eyes and thoughts on the bowl that was making its way around to every one, I tried to block out any and all ponderings involving one russet-haired, mysterious boy.

Controlling wayward thoughts is always harder than it sounds. I know that as much as I tried to escape them, they kept rolling around in my head, making me look out of the corner of my eye.

It didn't help that as many times as I glanced over, _he_ was looking back. His fingers were in his hair, combing through the grown out strands and around the curls at the ends. His knees bopped nervously against the bookbag he had brought with him. I paused to wonder what might be inside. How much of one life can you fit in a bookbag?

Finally, I could no longer tame my curiosity. Alice had gone off with Garrett, and Rosalie was deep in conversation with several other girls. No one was paying me any attention.

Creeping over to Munch, who was lying on his stomach, paging through a well-worn paperback by the light of the fire, I flopped down next to him.

Snatching his book from his hands, I read the title aloud. "_The Outsiders_? That's a bit cliché, don't you think?"

He attempted to grab it back, but I rolled onto my belly, shoving it between the ground and my skin. Munch looked as though he was considering pushing me over, but even as his hands reached for me, I could see his mind change. His hands jerked back to his sides, and he took a deep, audible breath. Staring straight ahead, he asked, "Give it back…please."

"How old are you?"

"Bella…" Munch sighed.

"Real name?" He shook his head vigorously.

"Where's your family?" His face scrunched up, and he seemed almost pained by the question.

I felt guilty.

Until he started talking.

"Three or four years ago, I was wandering around Mallory Square. That's in Key West," he added. "I met a couple of guys. They were older than me, but not by much. One of them was tall for his age, and I was on the small side."

I looked him up and down, wondering if he had really been little enough to deserve such a nickname. I thought he was around my age, but he had to have at least eight inches on me. Alice was right; the nickname was just plain ridiculous now.

He laughed quietly, apparently noticing my appraisal. "Yeah, I really was a tiny dork, Bella. I'm not making this shit up."

"So…what, the name just stuck?" I was hoping to keep him talking.

"Yeah. It's always been that, or kid…or dumbass." He snorted. "Whatever."

"I've never had a real nickname," I admitted. "BelIa is short for Isabella, but not a _real_ nickname. I used to think it would be cool to be something other than plain Bella Swan. I don't know, though. All your nicknames are for shit." His eyes rolled, but he was grinning. "I bet your real name is gorgeous."

"You'd lose that bet," he muttered. "Can I have my book back now?"

"Nope, not until you tell me some more about Florida. I've never been there."

Munch tried to appear annoyed, but he leaned back on one arm, getting more comfortable.

Maybe cracking this guy wouldn't be as hard as I thought.

**Thanks so much for your time and patience :)**

**Thanks for the best wishes on baby-I'm incubating a girl this time!**


	6. Runaway Train

**Chapter 6-Runaway Train**

_can you help me remember how to smile? _

_make it somehow all seem worthwhile _

_how on earth did I get so jaded?_

_life's mysteries seem so faded_

_I can go where no one else can go I know what no one else knows _

_here I am just drownin' in the rain with a ticket for a runaway train_

_~Soul Asylum_

**The Boy**

My first instinct had been to dive for my book. After all, it wasn't mine, and I had every intention of returning it to Mobile, Alabama's public library.

Someday.

But it had been so long since I had purposely touched anyone.

Well, before I had inexplicably allowed myself to touch Bella in the car earlier that night.

Touching created bonds, whether it was intended or not. Bonds led to openness, and any openness from me would shift the advantage to the other person. I couldn't allow people to get that far with me. It made me feel weak and vulnerable. The paranoia would flare, and I would get the urge to run.

I didn't want to run just yet.

I liked Alice, tolerated Rose, and Bella…she was interesting. It was a fine line between enjoying the company of others, and actually being involved in their lives to the point where they might think they could become involved in mine. Alice and Rose seemed to get it, but Bella; she was too inquisitive for her own good. I figured that as long as I kept her at arm's length, she'd maybe get the hint and stop pressing.

But for some reason, it was hard to stop looking her way.

Before she had stolen my reading material, I sat alone, the heat from the flames of the campfire warming my skin. I watched the other kids drift away from the fire, slowly pairing off, or making their own smaller circles to talk.

I liked to watch people; the way they interacted, how they talked, what made them laugh or cry. It made me understand them better, be more able to predict their actions. If I didn't have these opportunities to learn, I'd be clueless since I spent most of my life alone.

But Bella confused me. Her expressions shifted constantly, though she wasn't talking to anyone. I'd catch her staring at me out of the corner of her eye, her interest more than fleeting. Strange…she didn't act like any other girl I'd met.

Maybe that's why I didn't keep pushing her away. I had a sudden craving for her companionship, and just couldn't shake it.

_Fuck it, _I thought. _For once, I'm going to talk to someone like a normal person._

Within reason, anyway.

I could talk about something personal, without making it personal.

When she finally latched onto Florida, I was relieved. Travel was something I could talk a lot about without betraying too much information.

"The first time I saw Key West, the sky and water were both so clear, you could barely tell the difference between the two," I told her.

"That sounds incredible. I've only seen the cold Pacific in Washington."

"You haven't been to the Eastern shore?"

"Nope, not yet. Alice says we'll drive down for the day as soon as school's out."

Afraid she would ask why I wasn't in school, I quickly shifted the discussion back to Florida. "The people are different there, too. Did you know that Key West once tried to secede?"

She shook her head, giggling.

"I think it was more or less a joke, but they celebrate it. They celebrate everything. Every single night, there's a party on the docks, just to give thanks for the sunset."

"Sounds amazing."

"It is. Someday, you should see it."

Bella looked wistful. "I'd like that."

I kept talking, repeating stories about things I'd seen, from the Cuban children dressed in bright silvers, reds, and blues for parades, to the drunken tourists falling out of the doors at Margaritaville.

Eventually, her eyes drooped and shut, the late night catching up with her. A stray lock of hair fell across her face, tickling her nose in her sleep. Sliding my hand under her belly, I snagged my book, stopping to push her hair back before completely withdrawing.

Gathering my things, I felt around inside my bookbag, making sure everything was just as it should be. I couldn't afford to lose anything carelessly.

After collecting a blanket from inside one of the unoccupied tents, I covered Bella with it. It probably wouldn't be long until she'd wake up, uncomfortable on the hard ground, but I didn't want her to be cold on top of it. Waking up cold and stiff was one of the most discouraging feelings in the world.

Nobody paid much attention to me, which was how I preferred it. I wandered into the house, easily remembering where everything was. I thought I might take refuge in the basement apartment, but when I reached it, the door was locked, and I could hear soft sighs and whispered words.

Definitely not wanting to interrupt, I crept back up the stairs, heading for the kitchen to find a drink. Rosalie was there, leaning on the countertop, watching the campfire from the window. She turned when I cleared my throat.

"Bella seems to have an interest in you," she stated.

I shrugged. Noncommittal answers were my best friend.

"Just so you know, her dad's a cop, so don't make any plans to go near her house. You know they can smell kids like you a mile away."

Pulling a beer from the fridge, I studied the can before asking, "Do you think I have something to worry about. From her I mean?"

It was Rosalie's turn to shrug. "I doubt it. She sees us do shit all the time. She does plenty of shit herself. It was only an FYI."

After draining the beer, I tossed the can into the recycling bin. Always the considerate guest. "Okay. Thanks, Rose. I owe you one."

"Don't worry about it," she replied, making her way back out to the yard.

I was soon on my way, too, except I wasn't returning to the fire.

I was on my way out of sight.

**Posting with one eye still blearily open. **

**Thanks so much, ladies and...gents?**


	7. Heaven Beside You

**Chapter 7-Heaven Beside You**

_So there's problems in your life_

_That's fucked up, and I'm not blind_

_I'm just see through faded, super jaded_

_And out of my mind_

_Do what you wanna do_

_Go out and seek your truth_

_When I'm down and blue_

_Rather be me than you_

_~Alice in Chains_

**BPOV-June 1998**

He disappeared that night, and despite Alice's best efforts to trace him, wasn't seen or heard from.

She wasn't really surprised. She said he could vanish quicker than a thief in the night.

She was still pretty pissed at me, though.

The two weeks following Munch's sudden appearance and even more sudden departure, the three of us coasted toward the end of sophomore year. I looked forward to the beginning of summer, since my sixteenth birthday was just around the corner, and I really couldn't take anymore of Alice's driving. I think I was developing a wicked case of whiplash.

Or maybe it was because every time we rounded a corner, I checked to see if Munch was hanging out on it.

He had to be somewhere.

Since he wasn't at Alice's, and the guys he'd traveled up the coast with hadn't seen him either, I wondered where he had ended up. When I wasn't busy blaming myself for him taking off, I was still plotting ways to find out his deal.

Alice wasn't very helpful. She kept reminding me it was none of my damn business in the first place, and if I had only left him be, he'd still be here.

By the third week of Alice beating up on me, Rosalie finally came to my rescue. "It might have been a little bit my fault," she announced during a ride in the station wagon. "I might have told him that Bella's dad was a cop."

"What the fuck, Rose. What does that have to do with anything?" I shouted, kicking the back of her seat with my bare foot.

"He deserved to know," she answered, sneering. "You obviously weren't going to tell him."

I slumped back against the seat. "It's not like we had a whole lot of time to be deep in conversation. I would have told him…eventually."

Rose snorted and turned to look out of the window, clearly wanting to end the conversation.

We entered the city less than five minutes later. Our destination was the strip of hangouts where we passed many a day, sitting on curbs and in doorways of store fronts, watching boys grind their boards and talk shit on each other.

Rose let out a sharp whistle. "Well lookey there, Bella. You might get your chance after all."

Springing forward in my seat, I leaned my forehead against the car window. Alice smacked the curb as she hastily forced the wagon into the too small spot. There, slumped nonchalantly in a doorway, was Munch, fingering the hole in the side of his sneaker and watching the skaters glide by.

I had flung open the door before I'd really even thought about it, the metal scraping the cement curb with a screech. The noise attracted just about everyone's notice, Munch included. Instead of taking off like I feared he would, he remained seated, stifling a laugh behind his hand.

The skin of my face flushed red hot, and I stumbled from the force of slamming the car door shut. After taking a moment to breathe, I wobbled forward on shaky legs, twining a chunk of my hair through my fingers.

"Long time, no see," I said, plopping down beside him as casually as I could manage.

A slow smile crept over his lips. His eyes drifted across my face and away again before he shrugged. "I had to be somewhere else for awhile. That's all."

"Where'd you go?"

He chewed the corner of his lip. "Hit the beach with that kid," he replied, pointing to a tall, blond boy I only sort of knew from seeing him around. "You know Mike?"

"No, not really. I mean, I've seen him before, but I don't think I've ever talked to him."

Munch nodded. "He's cool. Has an awesome van. I think like…five of us slept in there. The water's still fucking cold up here though."

"I'm glad you had a good time. I was kind of worried when you disappeared."

He shook his head slowly. "Don't waste time worrying about me, Bella. I'm like dust in the wind. I'm here, and then I'm not."

I didn't know how to respond, so I kept quiet. For a few minutes, the only sound between us was our breathing, but then I remembered what Rose had confessed to. "Was it because of what my dad does?"

"What I do, Bella, it's never because of you. You can't think that way. I react, and I do what I think is best at the time."

"But you wouldn't have taken off if Rose hadn't said that to you," I stated.

"Not that night, no."

"You're here now. What changed?"

"I decided I don't care. Right now, anyway." He paused. "Obviously, I don't really want you mentioning anything about me to your family. A curious cop is a dangerous cop."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that." I snorted. "My parents live and breathe for my brother. They barely notice me at all, let alone my friends."

Munch scrunched up his face and looked away. "You girls planning to be here all day?"

"Yeah. I mean, I guess so. We've been hanging out here a lot."

He slid off the stoop and held his hand out for me to do the same. "Come and take a walk with me?"

I was surprised at the offer, but placed my hand in his. It was warm, but rough, with calluses worn into his palms. "Oh, okay. Let me just tell Alice and Rose."

I felt his eyes on me the whole time as I walked across the street to where Alice and Rose were gracing the hood of a car.

"We're going to take off for a bit, okay?"

Alice leveled me with a hard stare, and then shifted her gaze behind me to Munch. "Be careful, Bella. Don't disappear."

"Yeah right, Alice. That's not going to happen."

"I never would have thought this would happen, either."

"I'll see ya," I told her as I turned away. "Don't leave without me. It's not like he has a car."

"See ya."

Rose acted like she didn't hear the entire exchange. Sometimes her indifference to me was aggravating, but after hearing Alice's two cents, I was glad she didn't add to it.

Munch met me half way across the street, taking my hand again to the tune of a torrent of whistles. I'm not sure who turned more red, him or me.

We headed down the block, Munch reaching into the breast pocket of his green flannel shirt with his free hand and pulling out a half-crushed pack of knock-off Marlboros. "Want one?" he asked, popping one between his lips and holding out another for me.

"Sure."

After releasing my hand, he lit them both cigs with a haggard pack of gas station matches. I usually only smoked when I partied, since two dollars a pack was way out of my price range, but I certainly wasn't going to turn down a free one, even if it was the middle of the day.

"Where are we going?" I questioned after we started walking again.

"Just down the street. I know a place that's quiet."

"Okay," I nodded, keeping close to his side.

We passed the small city park with the fountain where the children played on warm days, and wound our way through the alleyway under the old theater. An outdoor stairway interrupted the emptiness, connecting the theater to its accompanying parking garage. The garage was empty, looking as if it hadn't seen customers in years. If I had any sense of self-preservation, I should have immediately questioned going any such place with a boy I barely knew, but instead of being a cause for concern, he only evoked peacefulness.

"This place hasn't shown a movie in maybe three years now, but you should have seen it then," he began. "On the inside, it was floor-to-ceiling red velvet and gilt. I thought I was going to the opera or something."

"You were here three years ago? How old are you?"

"Uh, fifteen I guess." He seemed uncertain. "What month is it?"

"June," I told him.

"Yeah, fifteen then. My birthday isn't until September."

"I can't believe I'm older than you. My birthday's next week. Sixteen."

"Yeah?" He chuckled. "We'll have to do something special." Looking down as we climbed the stairs, I grinned under the cover of my hair, but in the back of my mind, I wondered, _what if you're not even here next week_. "Your folks gonna get you a car, ya think?"

"I doubt it," I answered, shaking my head. "We haven't had much money since we moved. My dad took a pay cut coming here. What extra money we do have goes to my brother up at Penn State. I think I might have to look for a job soon. Do you...how do you…I mean, do you have money?"

Munch smiled and took a long draw from his cig. "Um, not usually." He shrugged. "Sometimes. I've done some migrant stuff. Worked on farms where no one asks questions. Panhandling at the beach can bring in some nice change."

"Well maybe after your birthday, you can get a real job," I suggested.

His laughter echoed long and loud in the vacant stairway. For a moment, I was pissed. I didn't need him to make me feel stupid.

As we reached the top step, his laughter abruptly stopped, and he leaned against a stone pillar. "Bella, I don't have a birth certificate, a social security card, or a license. I don't fucking exist in this world. There is no 'real job' for me. I'll always be this…shadow. This…" he motioned between us, "is a mistake waiting to happen. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here." He began scrounging in his pocket, digging for his smokes again. When I looked up, his eyes were searching the stairway, looking for his exit.

"Just stop, would you? You act like I already know all this shit and I'm nagging you, or something. You brought me all the way up here," I said, sweeping my hand in the direction of the mostly barren space we inhabited on the top deck of the old garage. "What did you have in mind?"

Munch's foot tapped as he weighed his options. "I thought we could smoke, and I don't know…hang out, I guess," he finally spit out.

"Then let's do that," I demanded.

He was silent for a long minute. I nearly turned and left, but something held me there.

"Okay," he finally replied, "Let's."


End file.
